fix it

every day i arrive at school at the same time.
and every day i watch the same girl spend 7 minutes parking her red toyota camry in the parking garage.
she backs up, pulls forward, backs up, pulls forward, backs up, gets out of her car, looks, shakes her head, pulls forward, backs up, gets out of her car, looks, shrugs, grabs her stuff, locks the car up and makes her way across the street.

i have to watch her every morning. i don't know why. if i don't watch her it's kind of like going to disney world without seeing mickey mouse.


i'm easily amused.


so, anyway. i need a break from food. my body is feeling rather slow and sluggish. my mind has had this constant cloudiness stopping me from...well...too much. i seek clarity, both mental and physical. my solution to achieving this is by partaking in a cleanse. we'll see after four days how long i'll keep up with it.
i don't know what's going on but i'm just not enjoying food. i haven't actually felt hunger for about three weeks now. when i do feel hungry, it passes within minutes. when i quickly find something to eat before the hunger growling goes away, i'm full after a few bites. and even if whatever i'm eating is absolutely delicious...i don't have that yummy feeling of satisfaction afterward. i don't feel full in an, "mmm" sort of way. it's more of a "ungh" kind of way. instead of feeling good, i feel swollen.

the last time i had this general feeling of ickiness i did this cleanse for about three or four days. after the last day i felt pretty good again. like my system reset itself. good feeling. so that's why i'm doing this again.

aside from feeling better, my mind was a lot clearer. i felt sharper. my imagination soared, i did better than usual in my studies, and i could actually focus. i cannot express how difficult it is for me to focus.


clarity. i crave it.