sometimes...it's wonderful.
imperfections are beautiful. awkwardness and flaws can be endearing.
sometimes, however, not so much. it's like pine sap. you can feel it on you and it's uncomfortable and you can't wash it off no matter what you do. you can't help but be hyper-aware of it, growing more and more frustrated with each passing minute, begging for whatever it is to go away despite knowing that it's permanently embedded and wired into your soul and flesh and everything in between.
it can be embraced. it can be loathed.
right now, i hate it. so very much.
a waste of time and energy? absolutely.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
it's okay.
the great thing about growing up is that you get to leave behind the person you used to be.
downfall is that you're still not all that great anyway. but people don't seem to mind.
when did i realize that my childhood was over? three main things happened:
1) i found out that my parents are just human, with flaws and fears and weaknesses.
2) i realized that i would either experience the deaths of everyone i knew. unless i died first. either way, a strong sense of mortality certainly nudged me.
3) i finally understood that i am not the center of the universe, and i became significantly less selfish than i ever had been. i'm still quite selfish. just not as selfish as i once was.
entering adulthood has little to do with a number or how many experiences you've had or how mature you are. those factors are certainly taken into consideration...but alone they don't determine whether or not you're "all grown up".
downfall is that you're still not all that great anyway. but people don't seem to mind.
when did i realize that my childhood was over? three main things happened:
1) i found out that my parents are just human, with flaws and fears and weaknesses.
2) i realized that i would either experience the deaths of everyone i knew. unless i died first. either way, a strong sense of mortality certainly nudged me.
3) i finally understood that i am not the center of the universe, and i became significantly less selfish than i ever had been. i'm still quite selfish. just not as selfish as i once was.
entering adulthood has little to do with a number or how many experiences you've had or how mature you are. those factors are certainly taken into consideration...but alone they don't determine whether or not you're "all grown up".
Sunday, August 22, 2010
mood
this song is a reflection of my mood today:
it's one of the more beautiful songs from Dragon Age: Origins.
this is very much how i'm feeling today. calm...wistful...
and, appropriately so, it's a gloomy day. i woke up to a gray veiled sky, which is always comforting. it's a nice change from being tugged and poked at by pesky sunbeams.
out of curiosity, how does this song make you feel? does it match your mood at all? is there a particular song that best represents your mood right now?
tell me. i'd like to know.
it's one of the more beautiful songs from Dragon Age: Origins.
this is very much how i'm feeling today. calm...wistful...
and, appropriately so, it's a gloomy day. i woke up to a gray veiled sky, which is always comforting. it's a nice change from being tugged and poked at by pesky sunbeams.
out of curiosity, how does this song make you feel? does it match your mood at all? is there a particular song that best represents your mood right now?
tell me. i'd like to know.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
i can be evil, i guess
i had a dream that this malicious-looking man was attempting to kidnap me.
i somehow managed, in awesome Michael-Weston-from-Burn-Notice style, to turn everything around; i managed to kidnap him instead.
i then knocked him out cold and gave him a sex change.
(of course i would know how to do something like that in my dreams)
he (?she?) woke up, was absolutely horrified and most likely scarred for life. he/she ran off without any pants. i don't quite understand why. but what's the use in trying to figure these odd things out?
but yeah. gave the poor man a sex change.
how wicked of me. i love it.
i somehow managed, in awesome Michael-Weston-from-Burn-Notice style, to turn everything around; i managed to kidnap him instead.
i then knocked him out cold and gave him a sex change.
(of course i would know how to do something like that in my dreams)
he (?she?) woke up, was absolutely horrified and most likely scarred for life. he/she ran off without any pants. i don't quite understand why. but what's the use in trying to figure these odd things out?
but yeah. gave the poor man a sex change.
how wicked of me. i love it.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
uh...
i've never understood this:
person: "i had such a great time at that party! it was so much fun!!!" *pause* "i don't remember a thing. i was so drunk. but it was fun!"
me: *sigh* -.- "okay."
....how do you know you had fun...?
person: "i had such a great time at that party! it was so much fun!!!" *pause* "i don't remember a thing. i was so drunk. but it was fun!"
me: *sigh* -.- "okay."
....how do you know you had fun...?
obsession.
ah, yes. my obsessions. when i fall in love with something, i fall in deep. it doesn't happen too often.
i've been madly in love with David Bowie since i was 10 years old. and by "madly in love" i mean i just love the man's music and his haunting voice. i discovered David Bowie when i was four when my mom rented the film Labyrinth for me to watch. i instantly became obsessed with the movie for its eerie fairy tale allure, and for the handsome goblin king. it wasn't until i was 10 when i went to a music store (back when they sold both cds and cassette tapes) that i realized that this Bowie gentleman had many, many records out. I purchased a copy of Outside, and it was then that i realized that i loved this brit and his music, and forever would. i was hooked.
my latest obsessions include...
Dragon Age: Origins.
Pendulum is very much on my love list.
Dorian Gray is way up there. (Oscar Wilde. mmm.)
i used to really love Tim Burton's work, but lately i've grown tired of his stuff. i love his dark style, but he's so predictable. i really hope he doesn't do a remake of Labyrinth. it has potential, but knowing him, he'd just cast the same actors he always casts in his films and turn the slightly eerie fairy-tale world much, much darker than it needs to be.
i've been madly in love with David Bowie since i was 10 years old. and by "madly in love" i mean i just love the man's music and his haunting voice. i discovered David Bowie when i was four when my mom rented the film Labyrinth for me to watch. i instantly became obsessed with the movie for its eerie fairy tale allure, and for the handsome goblin king. it wasn't until i was 10 when i went to a music store (back when they sold both cds and cassette tapes) that i realized that this Bowie gentleman had many, many records out. I purchased a copy of Outside, and it was then that i realized that i loved this brit and his music, and forever would. i was hooked.
my latest obsessions include...
Dragon Age: Origins.
Pendulum is very much on my love list.
Dorian Gray is way up there. (Oscar Wilde. mmm.)
i used to really love Tim Burton's work, but lately i've grown tired of his stuff. i love his dark style, but he's so predictable. i really hope he doesn't do a remake of Labyrinth. it has potential, but knowing him, he'd just cast the same actors he always casts in his films and turn the slightly eerie fairy-tale world much, much darker than it needs to be.
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